我只希望有个好脾气的爸爸

those times when you cant stop thinking how much things have changed. for the better, for the worse. 

sooooo...why after so long he still never change for the better and keep on his gambling addicts. its not like we are rich. sighs

Fyp finally over~

Soooooo, july is really a bitch month. I don't know how i go through it, because it's really feel like hell of a month, now that i'm looking back at it. Sighs. Tons of unhappiness.
There's only one thing i'm happy of i think, become closer with some new friends because of some similar problem? and we're able to clique and talk to each others about the problems ^^ But their's much more worse. Why didn't i meet them earlier, then we wouldn't be suffering this sem like this. :( Weeks of sleepless nights. I hope next sem will be a better sem for us!!!

Imma lazy like a pig now, just wanna nua!!!!
hehehee feeling happy now dk why. shall blog again soon! So lazy! :S

Recently.....

Birthday celebrations. Too many birthdays! 

They say"when you grow older,birthday is just another day to you" It's true to me. 

I'm growing wider and wider :( Mum and dad keep saying i'm fat. arghhhhhhhh.

Confession

Many times i admit, thinking my life is miserable born with sweaty palm, sweaty foot, sweaty body, acne face,with a father who like to gamble that result.... and  so so many useless stuffs to stress about and to the extend that i dislike myself so much?
Sometimes i even think that what did i do in my previous life to deserve all these. Mum have been saying our previous life we did something wrong and this life we came to pay back the debt and so on.
Time to abandon all these thoughts. I'm actually much more fortunate than people who born with disabilities. Looking at myself, i'm so shallow. Tsk.

chin up!

life may not be going on smoothly now, but i believe it will get better sooner or later! :)

SIGH i got the urge to quit school ever since school start. twinny already left, we both together came this far from ite and yet she leave this school first. now i know how she feels when she made that decision, it's aint easy at all. i dun have any motivation go on anymore. maybe this whole year 3 thing is really stressing me out. i dk or not having the girls to work tgh, motivate each other, all the jokes. everyday is just plain....boring and stressful.

FML.
i'm such a weakling.

changes

okay i'm really very bored dig out some young photo hahahahaha wtf i didnt know i look like that last time. face look super round and so zi-lian. super big round cheeks. no wonder my nickname is mian bao chao ren!!!! lame okay bye!

saw this somewhere "as life changes and get tough, that's when you change and become stronger"

need to be stronggggggggggg regardless of what. 

Trying hard to change and it isn't working. or maybe it's destined. am so sick and tired. and sometimes i really wish i have someone that i can break down to. everytime telling myself to be positive and its aint working.

actually, i really don't want to be in people eyes of "the quiet girl"i hate the fact that i can't speak well, can't express myself well.

i used to think this way "why do i have such a dad, not like my cousins' dad, not like my friends' dad, not like any random dad"

sighs, i dont want to be me.

negative -

The feeling after exam-空虚

People after exam so happening, party here and there. While me stay @ home like a housewife. hehehe cool hor LOL.

Really just want to spend everyday at home and not spend any money. But no work = no $$

when you can't even afford for a proper meal, it suck isn't it. regret much that i anyhow splurge on clothings, food etc before. *BIG SIGHS

I'm determined to work extra hard for mum, seeing her suffering every now and then makes me heartpain. lies, lies and lies. But she still live on positively and encourage me, unlike me with all the negative thoughts. 

whatever, things would be fine anwy. 

Hope my scar would be healed, no injection pleassse :( and hope i find a temp job soon. *Cross fingers

龙年行大运!

新年快乐!!!!!! this year cny as usual went malaysia on the first day bian nian etc and eat lei cha! seriously i miss the good old times when we are much younger, staying over at cuzzie at malaysia, gamble blackjack, go funfair together, climb hills together, eat breakfast at some lok kok stall, play with fireworks/noisy pao, watch some boring cny shows together etc. Everyone grown up, some even has their own family.
Anwy, this year cny is the worst i guess. Still cny period, but we are gonna chiong for few presentations, reports, prepare for test, prepare to decorate for our booth etc la. Wa piang, no time :( really hate school zzzzzz wts.
busy 2weeks ahead. bye!

cuzzie kids, sho cute. :> 

bro have a hard time trying to take photo with cuzzie nu er

bro and cuzzie so cute, take this pic so can compare next yr that they gonna jian fei

xiao jiu!

cuzzie :>

beloved brother! 

kong ming deng

mum and bro :)

cuzzie / cuz's wife

jeany house for steamboat :D 

playing with the peanut/kua zi stickers

camwhore during work haha

shimin :)

twinny :>

with twinny and the 2sisters :)

first post of 2012 yay, slow

HIIIIIIIIIII LOL, i know i super slow. My first post of 2012 anwy!!!!! woohoooooooooo~

anwy january sianz, start school all the project, test, tutorials, assignment come together. oh man, 21st gonna come soon :(

 oh been working at king of melon seeds since 1st of jan! Quite fun ah, scoop here scoop there. bunch of nice ppl there too ^^ Thanks to eileen twinny for intro-ing me~ hehehehe. last week already this week, she bu de leh. :( cny comingggggggg, i looking forward to eat good food and reunion, hopefully. aiya, jiu zhe yang. zai jian!

Add yi ge slim face, haha.

7jiemei w/out jess tho :(

bored @ lecture, jenn forever so lame haha

some random photo taking day accompanying jeany ^^

merry xmas!

merry merry xmasssssssssss. have a boring xmas this year, rawr.
but anwy,
first week of holidays wasn't that bad after all ^^
bigbro birthday celebrate at ichiban
eileen 21st bbq
catchup with peijing for dinner
went running with apriliewwwwww
club with girlfriends. made some new friends too. not bad ^^
shopping with CY/leonie/SY!
last min movie 'we bought a zoo' with apriliewwww
boyf cook pasta for me & watch Running man tgh. awesome i like times like this.
have xmas shoppingggggg
visit dasao mum at elderly home, shopping with mum/dasao/cheyenne ^^ its like the first time we ever did that but me like hoping more times like this hehehex. its like years i ever did shopping with mum.
watch sherlock holmes with boyf.


today just ran with apriliew and kelly, watch suckseed and xmas present xchange! love times like this nua nua nua, enjoy holiday, everyday sleep till shiok shiok only, wake up only at around 12pm 1pm..... drama marathon, did some housework and holiday ending soon rwarrrrrrr.

peijing^^

with the cute guy haha

night with the girls :>

this girl here always call me tortoise :/ 

still love her<3

happy times^^

sometimes, really cant take it already. shed too much tears for you.

hihihihihi, CT finally over!!!!!!!!!  but then why do feel like i have nothing to do at all and time pass super duper slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~
Its like everyone is going oversea for holidays, me also want. :( Sighs, life of a poor girl.

lonely me :(

where's has the noise gone to.

A little break before i continue on my revision. weeks ago, have dinner with big bro and family. ;) without dad. absolutely absolutely miss them around in the home. Though the noise is irritating, though my bro always randomly disturb me by throwing pillows at me, though i have to takecare of cheyenne always. but i missed it. This is happiness to me.

Show you the cute girl, hehe. :>

Me with cheyenne :>

Mum and cheyenne :>

2nd bro and cheyenne :>

2more weeks, hwaiting!!!!

december :>

Its december babyyyyyyyyyy~ xmas gonna be here, and then 2012!!!!!
woooooooo why this year so fast ah seriously.
CT is next week and i'm TOTALLY not prepared. YES TOTALLY. why i keep slacking ahhhhhhhhhh :(
no actually there's quite alot tutorials, report and presentation do. Np why do this do us :(((((((((((((((((( wthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sighs lah.

me want go play lehhhhhhhhh. recently, whats wrong with me. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

that time newpaper big walk with chiyen and leonie! 
hehhehehee, didnt take part this kind of thing before. what i no like is the crowd only, the company is great! :>

:)

me like the background!

go inside uss, of cos must take pic. lazy upload, here's one of them hehe

<3

11/11 teena said its a special day, so must take pic! hahaha cute ah she.

bored @ lecture, you know i know

jeany 21st birthday!! took hundreds of pic tt night. keke, 

wait till i get the pic again :)

i should be studying, and not waste time on here leh. haha, tmr is the start of understanding relationships module, hope its a fun one.